Eating and Gaining Goals

[coffeedrinker]

Hello,

I just recently graduated from college. When I started college I weighed 160 pounds. I discovered a lot about myself during college and explored many different intimate roles. The exploration is ongoing. Two years ago, I was really questioning my gender, etc. and I weighed 215 lbs and was in a relationship with a guy I really liked. I lived with him until I decided to move on, and I have been single since (except for a few random encounters with a BBW who is much older than me). In the last years of college, I had been focusing on my studies and living alone, but now I want some companionship.

I had been gaining slightly for two years and went up to 235 or so and decided to lose the weight. Over time, however, I figured that I would do well to take the opportunity to explore this way of being further. I had fallen in love with my softness (it makes me feel more feminine, comfortable, and cuddly) and I have since started to gain, now weighing 265 - all fat. I figure that I want to explore this further before I lose the weight once and for all. I was fat growing up and only recently have I felt good about it; I feel it is important for me to do this.

Has anyone felt this desire to get plumper? Does anyone have experience with gaining weight? How much should I eat? I bought a big rectangular container and fill it with comfort foods like pop-tarts, cake, chocolate, cheesecake filling, mashed potatoes, etc. and nightly watch movies while I gorge. I see big girls around town and compulsively buy fattening foods to gorge on that night. Ideally, I would like to live for a while with someone who is supportive of this choice who is into what I like. I have already bought some fat clothes and have tons of junk food at home waiting.

My goal now is to get up to 300 pounds by March. Has anyone been here?



-D